to tide us all over.

some photographs that were sent to me from the last workcamp in stykkisholmur.

group, from left to right:
lenart (germany), hunter (usa), ognyen (serbia), hannah (germany), samara (usa), ana (romania), nico (spain), above - marie (germany), below - virginie (canada), helena (catalonia), me, maple syrup

full album:
https://picasaweb.google.com/ayla0893/Iceland?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCIfLy92Vp5LOtAE&feat=directlink

a photo, some words, and whatever else may come into my mind before the end of this blog post.

so i didn't take too many photos, i should have taken more, but i didn't want that burden of documenting for reasons already mentioned, but here is one photo for now. (click for Big Size.)

this was taken in vik a day after the first of four volcano explosions to have happened during my stay in iceland. (locals never made a big deal (or even a medium sized deal) out of any of them.) so the sky is still a bit filled with ash but by now the wind is already blowing a lot of it away. this was taken on that Very Steep Mountain i had previously mentioned.

and now here are some songs from an album i fell in love with while in the highlands (kerlingarfjoll) during an mp3-player swap with andy. the album is called the blue notebooks, by max richter.

max richter - vladamir's blues


max richter - the trees

this walk to Holy Mountain is my prayer.

it has certainly been awhile since i tossed you the loop. (so you could get into it, of course.)

a lot has happened, as you may have guessed and i won´t really even try to catch up because i am done writing about happenings and now i´ll just write down some thoughts.

i have felt extremely blessed and revitalized by this trip. it has been such an enriching experience to get to know people from such distinct and varied backgrounds and to work with them in this peculiar place. i have felt so much love from the people (the locals, the volunteers, the leaders) and i have felt so much love from nature.

to meet and talk with people and learn so much from them... to listen to their wisdom and share stories and go crazy together. i have aquired a heep of golden memories and mentality-changing insight from others (re-)learning from others to be content in the moment and finding joy in simple rituals or tasks.

***

a few days ago, on one of the many gorgeous, sunny days in stykkisholmur (when it´s 20 degrees in iceland it feels like and it celebrated like it is 40) we went on this hike to this sacred mountain. (we=10 volunteers and i.)
there were two rules when climbing the mountain.
1. be completely silent and be pure in heart as you climb
2. don´t look back, focusing only on what is ahead
if these rules were followed while climbing, then at the top we would be given three wishes.
this last group has been quite an anomoly for me as there had been quite a bit of quarelling and conflict within the group and there was always noise and words being thrown up into the air but for this one hour or so our group was completely silent. this walk gave us all a chance to let everything rest and embrace the silence.

i feel inside of us all is this yearning to find peace and love. this is what we were doing.

at the top i had many good thoughts that came to me, and unfortunately like most of the time i have forgotten most of them but i do remember thinking how Great it is know this Love that we are receiving. it was my wish that we would all know where this Love is coming from, and that this Love is ever-lasting. that when we look at nature, at creation, and we feel inspired and at Peace from it, that this Peace if from God. i thought about all the love i had receieved from all the individuals i had met in iceland and thought about the wondrous creation and found this Peace and Joy in knowing that all of that Love came from God. it was the wish that everyone may know that the Love they are giving and receiving is from Him.

that was my second wish actually. if you must know, my first wish was that i may get a cookie. this is because the leader, ana (an incredibly awesome woman from romania) said that the first wish should always be something you know will come true (she had cookies) because then it builds Wish Confidence. and if you must know, yes, i did receive a cookie, so wishes do come true. ana also came up to me later and handed me another cookie and said ¨maybe your second wish was that you would get two cookies¨ and i thought that was just the most awesome sentence i have heard in my life.

***

lastly (and this was bound to happen) i have stopped taking photographs. i actually stopped in early june. as is normal for the conflicted person that i am, it became increasingly difficult to overcome the burden of taking pictures and capturing even 30 percent of the wonder in which i was experiencing. i came to the point where i didn´t even want to try to capture some of the wonder in the nature. i looked back on the photographs i had taken and i simply shrugged (or sometimes i even said ´that´s pretty cool´) and so that was scary to me because i was even at one point viewing with my own eyes this wonder and if i only think it´s merely cool what on earth are you going to think? i will post my pictures anyhow, but just know that i fear your reaction. likewise, i haven´t written on this blog lately because i have felt a certain burden in not know how to express the life-giving moments and experiences i am having here, but i have come to grips with this fact that i can´t quite completely and i´m fine with that. we all have this problem.

the aura, the atmosphere in iceland ic unlike anything else i have ever experienced... it is magical. i have said it before i will say it again. there are these orange mountains that i was working next to at my last workcamp... there was loads of steam coming from them because it was very geothermally active, and i think this was an atmosphere you could not experience anywhere else in the world except iceland. i was digging mud out from the earth to make a natural hot pot (hot tub) next to this mountain, by the way.

***

surely i have much more to say about my time here - what i have been doing - and i will get to that... but that will have to wait until i get home. i am going to be home in less than two weeks! so yes this is my final blogpost from iceland (most likely). i really can´t wait to be home it´s been weird to think i´ve been missing home more during these three months than i did over the span of nine in new zealand but i suppose that has to do with always being on the move and in more uncomfortable situations and not having a family to be with. it will be a sad day when i leave iceland but i already have no doubts that i am coming back. there are so many more seeds programs i have learned about (like building turf roofs) which have gotten me all excited for the next time. thank you all for the comments and emails (i say this all the time because i really love when i get any little or big comment) and especially thank you anthony for the email! that was the most exciting and surprising gift i could have ever received via the interweb and it´s rarer than a blue moon so i will treasure it forever.

see you soon!

P.S. Capers, i have an ENORMOUS urge to see you all - look out, i might be at your doorstep any minute. i love love love you.

6.9.11

hallo again. i write to you from holar, a very small village of 100 people (seems like far less), in good spirits.
the workcamp here is nearly done. we (two leaders, from estonia and romania, myself, and two french girls, who have since left us)  have worked in isolated farms (which had not been touched in 10 years)  surrounded by mountains and in a sweet smelling mini forest, as well as in the village itself. we have made walking paths through the forest, cut grass, painted benches, taken out horse fences and ridden on the back of a tractor's trailer. we have become good friend with each other and have also met some really cool icelandic guys here. oli (olafur) who is an amazing chef has provided us with food (a surprise to us) and always joined us as we ate our meals to tell us about interesting things. and maggi (magnus) who has been our Everything Else, telling us what needs to be done work-wise, driving us to Incredible sights around the area, acting as an ambulance driver, and overall being very friendly and always talking and teaching us new things about the culture and history of iceland.

in this place i also had the moment i was dreaming of prior to coming to iceland. it was perfect.
i woke up to the sun inside a warm summer house. not a sound i could hear.
on the other side of my window: snow-capped mountains - 5 of them, smiling - towering over the village. a rush of (who else) Love and Peace swept over me and i entered into Perfect Peace in Perfect Silence.

i read this verse:
"singers and dancers alike say
"all my springs are in You.""
ps 87.7

at this time i am realizing that God is in a whole lot more than i ever thought before.
i've found Him in sneaky places.

during this time i was also notified that i was, after all the waiting and doubt, accepted into the environmental science program at bcit. it was a strange moment as i had that futureplan forgotten but here i was responding back that i no longer was interested in the program at this time. it felt risky to turn down an opportunity which would give me some comfort and direction in knowing i knew what i would be doing for the next two years of my life, resulting in my life being seemingly less together, without a career direction - of not knowing exactly what i will be doing with my life but at is point i have realized that it does not matter what i want to Do. all i know is how i want to Be. and i quite like Being in God's hands, wherever He is leading me. i'm figuring out more and more every day how i want to live my life (how i want to Be) but am not so concerned about the doing. i couldn't be bothered to stress about what i want to do right now - i'm just taking great joy in my life as a Human Being in Christ. so to make this decision of turning down the next step towards which was once My Life Plan could seem a bit daunting, but to make this decision in peace was very comforting.

i will leave you with a few (visual) "songs" which i am writing for the seeds organization which i am so blessed to be a part of. they're all so great and i feel like i need to write them something in appreciation of how they have been so Life Giving to me, so here are two of seven "songs" i have written so far... they are all based around nature and places and experiences which i have been a part of.

a song written for your short legs trudging through the tall grass
i feel as though i have lost
                                       my feet
they are somewhere else
(probably) Being so lazy
well they are most likely flapping all about in the sea
effortlessly so.
i would wish they would come back to me
as i succumb to the forces of these long fingers
hanging     onto what remains of my body.
nature has won.

a song written for the one bird (out of a flock of 200) who could not fly:
worry not about their eyes
gazing down to the deep blue
gazing down at you,
stuck in a body which refuses to rise.
for Patience waits for you
and Hope wants to flow through your mind.
Contentment whispers from the bottom of the ocean:
"swim with me then, to the ends of the earth."
i have had quite a fruitful week of posting updates but just letting you all know that they will come to a stop for awhile now. it could be as many as six weeks before i touch this blog again but i´ll try to get something in as many people do have laptops i could potentially borrow for a few minutes. so consider the abundance of updates this week a make-up for the lack of blog posting for the next while.

love you all!!!
vik was a very good Thinking Place for me because of how quiet and beautiful it was and i wrote a ton - mostly just icelandic stream of consciousness writings and i will now share a few of those with you just for fun:

icelandic stream of consciousness #1:
the wind softly chills my bones it can not help it   it is trying to be as delicate as it can be   i know because the wind is a Friend to the directionless and that it is all it is here for   to guide

#2
oh those trolls which were so close to shore how they could not quite settle down the sails or if they were to have set the sails a few minutes sooner none of this would have happened but thanks be to the trolls for giving us a beautiful reminder of their life on earth.

#3 (opa)
o to be 33 as he (to me, the boy) always was
i would play along with his jokes and his four pocket knives which he gave me over the years
(where have they all gone to)
(perhaps they were waiting for him in heaven)


i become more comfortable with death in every passing day that i die
no longer bound by time, his story is timeless.

#4
just as i will die tomorrow and will Be again free
to live forever(&)more yes

i am a little church at peace with nature. i am not but i know I Am(,the great)
the Lamb who died and is alive and (& i want us all to understand) wandering through our hearts.

#5
to drain all so i can sleep this silence forever smiles at me that is a large unrealistic hope i do love the mountains but when at the top and steep cliffs abound oh no what have i done to my sense it´s none too present like a blue sky somewhere out there Being but not in the danger zone of trolls and volcanoes. yes i do believe in trolls there were far too many holes and caves stuck up there for just one bird, annoyed who squawked at me but hey that was company albeit eerie to ring in my ears and so much sand in my teeth my eyes are black like i love my dirty make-up so much i will never wash my face again


(here is another quick poem of the same type which i wrote in the west fjords after a nap during a dark (comparitively) day after the final workday)
#6
so sleepy we all take to the bed and watch our dreams in slow motion before sudden movements shake the mountains and the wind screams in our ears i am so sick of his alarm clock i will have infinite nightmares with that same ring going on repeat (snooze) oh and it´s back again.
it shouldn´t always feel like 4 in the afternoon how will my brain ever know when to shut off why it´s 3am and it is finally dark why it is 5am and i thought i was late for breakfast will i ever figure this island out

there is lava flowing all over my floor.

5.24
today i climbed A Very Steep Mountain. i am very happy i made it down in one piece.

i climbed against my fear because the mountain was very beautiful & i wanted to see what was on the other side. perhaps it would have been fine on a less windy & grey day but not on this day when my sense failed me. sometimes i don´t like being part of the adventures i have made for myself. my heart was beating far too fast for comfort.

i cam currently in vik. i an in vik for multiple reasons but i think deep down The Reason i wanted to be in vik was because i wanted to get as close to the exploding volcano (before it was not recommended for health and safety reasons).

it is very eerie here. i have never been in an environment quite like this. imagine a photo with all the exposure and contrast and color taken out of it & add a grey haze (ash and dust) and you´re getting close to what it looks like.

like last year when iceland erupted, i do not know how big or small this news is in the world because of my isolation from media but when i was told of this news by reykjavik locals they talked about it as if it were just another eruption & not a huge deal despite the fact this eruption is even bigger than last year´s now-famous volcanic eruption.

what makes it a news headline completely depends on where the wind blows the ash. last year the wind blew the ash directly south & there was lots & lots  of ash & so it stopped air traffic. this year the wind is blowing the ash more evenly everywhere & this eruption has produced less ash because of the way the volcano or lava is so i imagine this is less of a news headline. with that said the airport was closed for a day (prompting me to right a poem called 'all my friends are stuck in the airport' because many seeds people were supposed to leave that day) and the south / southwest roads have been blocked off so no cars can go through.

i´ll stay in vik for a few days & explore the black sand beach & the cool troll ship which turned to stone & the mountains which are covered in the coolest mixture of fresh soft green & ancient brown rock.

vik, like most of the south is very active volcanically & there is one volcano just north of here that is due to blow any year now. because of this they have a neat book called 'eruption emergency guidelines' that everyone here is supposed to read. i thought it was pretty cool.

on friday i will head north with only 5 others for the next workcamp. i have met the 2 camp leaders (both girls) already & there will be only 3 others 'short-term' volunteers. quite a change from the 10 volunteers and one camp leader i had in the west fjords.

thank you all for the emails and comments you have left me! i read them all with much enjoyment.

bless.

(correction)

i had a blog post titled 'the secret to staying warm in iceland' which is quite misleading because i have yet to actually be warm in iceland.

despite wearing 6 layers a day, with a scarf and toque might i add, i still feel cold - not that i´m complaining, this weather is awesome, but it´s cold.

i remember when i was in canada looking up the temperatures of iceland and thinking 'oh this is not bad at all - quite mild!' but the thing is that it is ALWAYS i repeat ALWAYS windy here and so when it is ''13 degrees'' because of the wind it feels more like 3 degrees or maybe even as ''warm'' as 8 degrees.

today i met a man from greenland. he works in the capital as a butcher, he showed me some pictures of greenland - really beautiful. nice guy.
the following dialogue happened:
''ya in the summer it actually gets quite hot.''
''oh really? how hot does it get?''
''it can reach up to 15 degrees!!!''

also i have scrambled my way through every blog post thus far due to time restraints so i haven´t check anything i have written so just a quick apology for any parts of the blog posts that may be unreadable or confusing or grammatically mind-damaging.


also i´ll leave you with a song that i have come to love because the israeli girl that had awesome taste in music had this on her mp3 player and we switched mp3 players so i listened to a lot of her stuff and this song is quite beautiful. it´s buy an intellegent dance music artist but here he just plays piano. aphex twin - avril 14th:

I Am where my heart is.

to sit with Him quietly,          alone
on a mountain.

iceland is a magic trick.

(a really, really good magic trick.)

i wasn´t only rubbing my eyes because of lack of sleep, i couldn´t believe my eyes. no picture or video or iceland could have prepared me for this magical place. as one of my fellow seeds volunteers said 'this place has crazy vibes.' and i was also rubbing my eyes because i thought i must have fallen into a dream. a ream in which i was gazing at heaven. sudden landscape changes every ten minutes, and it kept getting more beautiful.

i´ve tried to take pictures to capture the magnificence of this place, the magic, but to no avail. i´ll continue to take pictures but it´s tough when i know the picture doesn´t even begin to do justice to the wonders. it is mind-shattering just trying to comprehend what my eyes were (i think) seeing.

iceland is a magic trick and you will not believe your eyes. you will rub and you will rub your eyes and yet you will never wake up because this isn´t some hologram or optical illusion or crazy magic trick - this is real.




so now that i have fully gushed out about iceland, i will start to tell you some happenings of the past three weeks.  (i hope my campaign about iceland has convinced you that you need to travel here - and when you do come i´d like to come along with you.)

i know i won´t even begin to start at telling you everything that has gone on given that i´m typing against time but hopefully this will give you a bit of a feeling for my time here.

 after a few days of exploring reykjavik on my own, i arrived at vesturgata, the seeds house, the night before i was going to take off for my first workcamp in the west fjords. i met a few really nice people at the house (a common theme every time i meet a new seeds volunteer) and was just about to have some dinner when oscar, the founder of seeds, came into the house telling us that because there were more volunteers going to the west fjords than the bus could hold, two people would have to go in a truck on the way up. i hadn´t unpacked so i volunteered to go. next thing i know i´m in a transport truck debot with the camp leader, eddy, who was a stereotypical french person with The French Accent (and a very heavy one at that) and it was great fun getting to know him. he´s a real character. incredibly funny. so my way up to the west fjords featured myself and a trucker. we left at 6pm and at 10pm we arrived at a diner in the middle of nowhere where all the truck drivers congregated for dinner. (dinner is always realllllly late here.) (and at this point i was dumbfounded by the eerie cultural experience i was taking part of - sitting in a diner waiting for the truckers to stop eating so i could get going to my destination again.) at 11 i was on the road again, this time with a different truck driver who knew even less english and then the descent into heaven started. beautiful waterfalls, tiger-striped snowy mountains, weaving rivers and just weird rock formations. at 1am the sun started to set just as we arrived at the top of a mountain blanketed in snow. it was so beautiful to see the sunset colors rising over the white.

the seeds camp started the next day and it didn´t take long to realize that this was going to be pretty special. the two weeks was a very special time of cultural experiences - conversing with people of totally different backgrounds and lives. the first group featured people from finland, russia, israel, china, germany (two guys), usa (a teenage couple), canada (me and a guy from... toronto), france. we were helping out at a guesthouse slash restauraunt and so our meals were plentiful and very good. we ate a lot. we had three meals a day and a coffee break at 4pm. every meal took two hours because our camp leader was french and he liked the lengthly meal times. our coffee break was an hour long. we were supposed to work 7 to 8 hours a day but considering these lengthly meal times, we worked 5 to 6 instead. it was quite funny. the work consisted of helping out with the farm on the land, building a fence for the horses, caring for the chickens, preparing the gardens for planting season, and then a whole lot of digging rocks out of the ground (iceland has lots and lots of rocks) and pouring cement (the day we did this, we worked 11 hours - and that was our first day.. thankfully the work only got easier, and of course, the days weren´t as long after this).

i would love to tell you about each individual i worked with at the camp but i'll have to save that for a different time.

on our off days we explored the area. iceland is so wild. there were amazing glaciers, waterfalls and lakes we would hike to despite having no path or trail to follow. we´d have to cut through bushes and cross rivers and then eventually we'd run into something which was just too good to believe. and to think how many people have come upon these spectacles. there is so much to see and yet there aren´t many accessible ways to get to them so it really is an explorers dream country - happening upon these landmarks in seemingly the middle of nowhere because of the lack of trails and the remote locations.

it started snowing (which is unusual for this time of year) a few days before the camp ended. the wind picked up and it was just so cold outside nobody could be out there for long. on the day we were supposed to leave it snowed a LOT and we were stranded temporarily in the remote guesthouse in the west fjords. the snow eventually stopped and we drove home slowly over the snowy mountain and after we came down the mountain it was beautiful sun all the way home. the mountain was so snowy and windy all we could see outside was the white snow and some yellow road markers. the road the sky the mountain, it was all white it felt like we were driving into heaven, and this time not because of the beauty but because it was just all white - everything.

back in reykjavik now. this city is very cozy. it is starting to feel like a second home a bit. there is an arts festival going on and we saw some crazy show in the square. it looked like this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/snofla/4783582737/in/set-72157624472142324/

icelandics are very into art and music and writing. it´s lively on the weekends. i went to a concert a few days ago - it started at 12 and ended at 2. by the time we came out the sun was already up but who knows maybe it didn´t even go down that day. it wanted to party too perhaps. after the concert everyone flocks to other bars and cafes and continue to socialize and dance and party and it was a really cool cultural experience to be a part of. everyone is really friendly and it seems everyone knows everyone.

yesterday i ran into oscar, the founder of seeds, three times in three different parts of reykjavik. it was always a joyous occassion and just funny to keep runnning into them. i always run into a bunch of different seeds volunteers daily. or people who have done seeds in the past, as is the case of a hostel receptionist i talked to yesterday.

i will be going to the north of iceland in six days and until then i have time off to explore on my own. it was pretty weird to say hello and goodbye to seeds volunteers so quickly. it was actually quite sad to say goodbye to some, but éveryone is already making plans to come back to volunteer with seeds again.

i think i will end here because i have little time left and so i will leave you here for now.

can not wait to come home love you miss you come to iceland leave me a message God is good see you all soon.